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I know, you're mature, smart and competent. But every day I coach women like you through situations they wish they didn't get into. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a something, right? Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack.
Take care of yourself by initiating a conversation and sharing your needs and wants. If you are dealing with a grown-up man he will appreciate and respect you for it.
If he's not; he won't. Good to know before you jump in!
Do start by finding 3 things you like about him. His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his. This keeps you open to someone who might not be your type.
Because after all, your type hasn't worked aeg you would be reading this. Do flirt like a grown-up. Yes, grown-up women flirt and men like it!
Keep your body language open, play with your hair, smile, touch his arm. And best flirt of all: compliment him!
And bring your femininity to every date. Do manage the date conversation.
Be the master of the segue if he talks too much, or the conversation swerves into uncomfortable topics. Make sure you get to talk about yourself in a meaningful way as well.
Why is this up to you? Because you are better at it than he.
Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self.